I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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