Your dad touched me again.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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