quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Randomize