If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
