she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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