me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
