listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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