my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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