i already hear my dad disowning me
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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