I'm drive I can fine osifer
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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