yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
from now on my penis is your penis
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
