Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Who wears a wallet chain?!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize
