is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
