I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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