After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
