is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
My ATM looks so different sober.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
