For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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