You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
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