everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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