What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
