I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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