Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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