It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
