she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
