I think i sorta joined a cult last night
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
