he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
false alarm, still single
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