How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
