This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
