I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize