Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
