I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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