Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
