I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
