he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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