Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Mom said you looked used
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
