why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
