I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
she peed on how many people?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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