now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
