there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
