"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
