Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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