i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
