i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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