let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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