My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
