I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
