How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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