omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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