Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
