don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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