is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
