Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
