there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
