Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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