I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
