just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
