don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
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Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
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There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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