I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life