Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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