My nipple is on Facebook.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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