I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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